I really didn’t want to write about this Proverb, but nothing else seemed better:
He who finds a wife finds a good thing
and obtains favor from the Lord. Proverbs 18:22
I was single well into my 30s, and three years ago, my husband died. The first time around, I often felt pulled by these verses written by Paul:
I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another. To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am… I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord. 1 Corinthians 7: 7-8, 32-35
I often wondered if my desire to marry was a negative thing, if instead I should relish my singleness as a way to serve God better. I actually did a ton of ministry as a single person – but I also did ministry when married.
And now I am single again. But I want to be married. I’m confused when I compare the Proverb with what Paul says. Is it a blessing, a favor, for a man to find a wife? Or is it better to remain single?
I recently heard a sermon which suggested that since marriage was God’s original plan for men and women, it’s the more natural state – that singleness is the exception to the rule.
So which is it? Do I ask to stay a single widow so I can serve God with undivided interests? Or do I seek marriage – and so show God’s favor on some man who now has a wife?
Interesting dilemma! The one thing I know is this: there are a LOT more strong single Christian women out there than men.
So, guys, please err on the side of creation and Proverbs 18: 22, then do some wonderful women a favor and FIND YOURSELF A WIFE!! And let God show you HIS favor.
Dear Lord: Sometimes your Scriptures confuse me. As in this case. But since I am single right now, help me find contentment in your plan for my life, just like it is. (Even though I wouldn’t mind letting you favor a man by making me his wife!) Amen.