I was away from wifi for two evenings – took my girls to a ranch in the country – so I’ll be posting three blogs tonight!
But I do not account my life of any value nor as precious to myself, if only I may finish my course and the ministry that I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God. Acts 20:24
The only value of Paul’s life – the only thing that was precious – was if he could finish the job God called him to do – to share the Gospel.
The only reason Paul wanted to live was to talk about Jesus and encourage believers in the faith (Philippians 1: 22-26).
All he cared about was finishing the race well (1 Corinthians 9: 24-26).
Even though I lead an evangelism ministry, even though I love to share the Gospel, I am not driven by the desire to tell others about Jesus like Paul was.
I do count my life as value – not necessarily for me, but for my kids. And I do want to live for other things, not just for the Gospel.
I wonder what it would be like to so love Jesus and others that I wouldn’t care what happened to me. I wouldn’t worry about my happiness or contentment. I would be consumed with Jesus.
There’s a part of me that wants to go there, no matter the cost. And there’s another part that doesn’t want to go anywhere near there.
I still want other things in my life.
Maybe there’s a middle way.
To ask God to increase my love for him and desire to love others. Maybe I could be more consumed than I am with sharing the Gospel. And maybe I’ll move closer to having that be the only thing that matters.
Dear Lord: Open more doors for me to share the Gospel. Help me know your love more dearly. Increase my passion to tell others about you. Amen.