2017 Day 124 – Got Doubts?

Songs from my past float through my head as I read some of the Psalms. And today, as I started to read Psalm 104: 24-35, I remembered this Amy Grant rendition of this passage.

Verse 24 starts “Lord, how manifold are your works! In wisdom you made them all. The earth is full of your creatures.”

The verses that follow talk about how God created and sustains living things, how He rejoices in His works (vs. 31) – and they end in praise.

Psalm 104 reminds me of a dark period a few years back where I lost the sense of God’s presence. I doubted for the first time since I first believed. I even wondered if there was a god – a very unsettling place to be!

I was stuck there emotionally for some time, longing for my former intimacy with Jesus. I was afraid to walk away, too. As Peter said, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life…” (John 6:69)

My intellect would not allow me to ultimately abandon the faith.  Two things kept me in the game – creation and the Cross.

It was just impossible to imagine the complex creation without a Creator – some “wisdom… made them all:” the sea teeming with creatures, the supply of food for animals, volcanoes and oceans (Psalm 104: 24, 25, 27, 32).

And if I was going to believe in a Creator, I’d take the One who died on the Cross for me – not a god who demanded that I somehow earn His favor.

You can read more about my struggle here and here.

The dark time lasted for a season. It waxed and waned. But God never left. He just took away my feelings of His presence.

And He kept Creation and the Cross in front of my eyes so that I never left Him.

Dear Lord: Thank you for the lessons I learned during my time of doubt. Thanks for coming back. And thank you that Your Creation and the Cross kept me from leaving. Amen.

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