I’m in a bad mood tonight. Lots of things contributed to it.
So much to do that I can’t figure out what to do hour by hour and sometimes I just waste time. Today, I don’t feel like I wasted too much time, but I decided to spend time riding bikes with my daughter rather than doing taxes or working or applying for financial aid for the other daughter.
And I had to fix the fence. Temporarily. And the yard needs spring pick up. The grass needs overseed and fertilizing. Yes, I can get people to do those things, but that takes time. The guy I had to work on the yard disappeared. And my doc prescribed meds at the wrong too expensive pharmacy. And my daughter and I probably both need braces, but I haven’t gotten around to that Dr visit. And I am definitely under the pile at work. And I am single. And I don’t want to be. And it’s coming up on another birthday which feels like the clock ticking. And it’s soon three years since my husband died. I want someone to help with the fence! And the bills. And the yard. And the loneliness.
So, maybe I need to focus on today’s Psalm:
For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence,
for my hope is from him.
He only is my rock and my salvation,
On God rests my salvation and my glory;
Trust in him at all times, O people;
pour out your heart before him;
God is a refuge for us. Psalm 62: 5-8
I think I need to go pour out my heart before God.
Dear Lord: I’ve cried out to you twice today. Maybe I need to do so again. Amen.