Just when it looked like things were starting to move forward again…. Won’t go into the details, but it feels like another step back. Or two. Tired of this.
I know God isn’t surprised. I know He doesn’t give more than I can handle. I know there are no crises in heaven. I know all that needs to get done will get done. I know God is not in a hurry.
I know all that in my head –
But for 3 months now, I’ve felt as if there were about 15 things that aren’t getting done every day that need to be done… and no time to catch up. And then up, down, up, down. Will DH get better? Or worse? Live? or Die? Or live not so well? And then there are the kids. They need loving, feeding (thankfully folks are bringing meals), transporting, help with homework and practicing and Halloween costumes, time. Oh, yes, then there’s the job. Did I mention the dogs?
Then something else goes wrong with DH – or simply does not go right-er, and I hit the wall.
That’s what’s happening.
Something was not right with the dialysis machine this AM. Not life threatening. Just a pain in the rear. Well, maybe life threatening. Who knows? So I had to miss church. And time with God. So, here I am. 10 PM again. Getting ready to read and blog. Maybe that will help.
Ha! Lamentations. An inauspicious start!
Well, actually, I was wrong. Lamentations ministered to me. A lot. Check these verses out:
He drove into my [husband’s] kidneys
the arrows of his quiver…;
my soul is bereft of peace…;
so I say, “My endurance has perished;
so has my hope from the LORD.
But this I call to mind,
and therefore I have hope:
The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases;
his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
“The LORD is my portion,” says my soul,
“therefore I will hope in him.”
(Lamentations 3:13, 17a, 18, 21-24 ESV)
I TOTALLY related to much of the complaint that Lamentations 3 started with. Then as Jeremiah (held by many to be the likely author) turned from suffering and sadness to focusing on the truth of God’s love, I went with him, remembering with tears those words from another song that’s very much ministered to me. Here are some girls singing it on YouTube (calling it an “old hymn,” though I think it dates back only to the 70s. Sigh).
And after being comforted by God’s steadfast love and those new mercies that I look forward to in the morning, Jeremiah gave me my marching orders in the next verses:
The LORD is good to those who wait for him,
to the soul who seeks him.
It is good that one should wait quietly
for the salvation of the LORD.
It is good for a man that he bear
the yoke in his youth.
Let him sit alone in silence
when it is laid on him;
(Lamentations 3:25-28 ESV)
Oh, Lord, give me the time I need to wait quietly for You.
For Your faithfulness is great.
Today’s Readings: Lamentations 3:15:22, Psalm 119: 145-152, Proverbs 28:11, Philemon 1-25. See About for what I’m up to with these daily posts. Your daily blogger, Holiday Longing (Reproduce with permission only).