Day 204 – Are You a Nag?

Today I read a Proverb with which I am quite familiar:

Better to live in a desert
than with a quarrelsome and nagging wife. Proverbs 21:19 NIV

I dedicated one post to this particular proverb and will repeat part of it here:


Here’s the passage in question (NASB version):


It is better to live in a desert land
Than with a contentious and vexing woman. Proverbs 21: 9

Vexing is also translated angryfretful, irritable, and ill-tempered.

Although it’s not clear that the “vexing” woman is angry at God, it’s possible that ultimately that’s where her anger is directed. However, she’s likely angry with the people and circumstances in her life.

angry babyIn any case, a vexing woman is probably not “gentle” in the sense of trusting God with her life, resting in His good will. She is instead fretful and frustrated.

Contentious is also translated bitter-tongued, quarrelsome, brawling, or discordant.

Five, count ‘em, 5 Proverbs talk about the contentious woman!

In addition to 21: 9, above, here are the rest in all their glory:

…  the contentions of a wife are a constant dripping. Proverbs 19: 13b

It is better to live in a corner of a roof than in a house shared with a contentious woman.  Proverbs 21: 19, repeated in 25: 24

A constant dripping on a day of steady rain and a contentious woman are alike.  Proverbs 27: 15

The woman in these Proverbs is  not “quiet” in any sense 0f the word – not vocally nor by means of having an inner tranquility that does not disturb others. Perhaps her anger leads her to being contentious, but whatever the case, she is a nag, an arguer, a pain in the neck.

So where do I spend most of my time?

Sadly, I think I am more vexing and contentious than gentle and quiet…

It just seems so, hm, natural for me to drip, drip, drip (and, hey, occasionally it works!).

But I do want to move more towards being gentle and quiet (at least the way I think it’s accurately defined).


Because I really wanted (and still want) to be less vexing and more gentle, I wrote about such topics as what it means to be gentle and quiet,  why women are vexing (nagging) and contentious (quarrelsome)why women want to control, what it means to be Christianly feminine, and the fears that drive us to control others through our nagging and anger.

I never got around to writing how to become what I want to become as a woman, but as usual, I’ve discovered that it’s a combination of me and God.

I pray and work at it, but He breaks my heart and brings me to repentance, typically of deep-seated deceptions and idolatries, and usually through painful circumstances.

Today’s Readings: Ezra 5:1-6:22,  Psalm 87:1-7, Proverbs 21:19-20, Acts 22:30-23:22. See About for what I’m up to with these daily posts. Your daily blogger, Holiday Longing (Reproduce with permission only).


4 thoughts on “Day 204 – Are You a Nag?

  1. Pingback: 2017 Day 317 – Women Nag?? | Longing for a Holiday at Sea

  2. Pingback: 2017 Day 292 – Set an Example! Really? | Longing for a Holiday at Sea

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