I utterly hate tax time.
I hate pulling together all the stuff. Since I’m a perfectionist, I have to make sure I exactly document business and medical expenses, deductions, charitable donations, etc., etc., etc. It makes me crazy. And I am infinitely glad it is done. For 2007.
But what makes me crazier, however, is finding out exactly how much a certain spouse of mine spends on some of his favorite past-times, one of which is collecting books. I am serious here.
Now that I have written this, he is really going to press me to change my email address and blog URL so no-one, I mean, no-one can ever learn his dirty little secret:
He’s a biblioholic.
(A little TMI aside: On top of getting all the junk together, I had a little procedure at the Dr’s this am which required I eat nothing yesterday and, on top of fasting – which makes me very touchy – drink what seemed to be gallons of the most vile liquids imaginable. For those who know what I am speaking about – Katie Couric – I was also up half the night a la salle de bain.)
So, I was in a pretty bad mood working on the taxes. Usually, I get really, really angry at said spouse about said spending habits – an anger that seems more justified now because I am currently the one earning the bread. (So, guys who are primary providers, now I know a bit what it feels like to have a wife who’s addicted to the mall).
But, wait. There’s a miracle!
A friend came over last night and (between my runs to la salle) we all three chatted.
My husband told him that he was amazed how well I was handling his 2007 spending sprees (and, hey, books weren’t the end of the story). He even said I was “heaping burning coals” on his head with my kindness (see Romans 12:20).
I was in shock (a good kind of shock) and in response muttered something like, “Well, when I stand back from the situation and take the long perspective [dear reader, that would be God’s perspective], I realize that this is really not my problem. After all, God owns the cattle on a thousand hills (Psalm 50:10) and He will take care of us.”
Oh, Lord: Sometimes I feel like I never learn, I never grow. In fact, in my heart, I still felt twinges of anger about what seems like injustice – but maybe not so angry as last year, or the year before. I do believe your grace is changing me little by little. And my husband’s obvious conviction about the situation shows he is changing little by little. Thank you for his encouraging words about and to me. Thank you that each of our sins and each of our spiritual journeys are, in the end, your problem. And thank you that all our money is yours, anyway. Oh, one more thing: thanks for the rock polisher that is marriage. Amen
PS. About my struggle with the slow pace of spiritual formation, see Impatient with God